Here we go
again guys; Liam Neeson is back and once again he just can’t seem to keep tabs
on his poor family’s whereabouts. After Taken 2, I thought for sure this “series”
(it’s a trilogy now, imagine that) was dead and gone for sure; I mean, everyone
had their turn being Taken (first the daughter, then the mom, and finally
Neeson himself, everyone’s happy right?) not to mention the movie was one of
the worst movies I’d ever seen. Apparently, I was wrong and the obvious, clear
next step in the series was to make a Taken movie where no one actually gets
Taken (brilliant, right? This was the actual pitch for the movie), on the
contrary, this time there’s been a murder.
First of
all, the notion that no one gets “taken” in this Taken sequel is technically
false. Admittedly, it’s not the main focus of the plot, but Liam Neeson, Famke
Janssen, and Maggie Grace all get taken at one point or another (as well as the
evil businessman stepdad) sorry to be a stickler, but I just had to point it
out. Now that that’s out of the way, what the movie does focus on is a
completely unoriginal plot (Taken meets Fugitive! Right guys?) where Liam
Neeson attempts to prove his innocence in his wife’s murder the only way he
knows how, by using a very particular set of skills.
There’s so
much wrong with this movie as an action flick, it almost feels like a parody.
For example, the plot itself is a cheap rip off of an older, better Harrison
Ford vehicle, but it doesn’t stop there. The editing is atrocious and seems almost
intentionally messy to hide Liam Neeson’s actual lack of “skills” (forgive me
Mr. Neeson, you’re still the best); in one scene we see Neeson run up to the
fence, and then there’s a cut, and then he’s on top of the fence, and then
another cut and finally cut to him “landing” on the ground; I’m not sure Liam
Neeson actually descends a real full flight of stairs, let alone does any of
the stunts this movie would have you believe. The dialogue is cripplingly
expositional and bland, evil stepdad explains to Neeson and his spec ops friend
what the Spetsnaz is at one point, which is clearly just a line intended for
the audience; sloppy lines like this persist throughout the film.
In what I’m
sure is an attempt to make up for the particularly bland and cliché villain in
this film (really, an ulgy Russian guy with weird teeth? Like every cliché action
movie ever?) Forest Whitaker is cast as the “super interesting unordinary
detective who’s chasing the hero but doesn’t really believe he’s guilty he’s
just doing his detective duties” guy and the movie makes several lame attempts
at making him “different.” They give him a knight from a chess set and a rubber
band to play with throughout the movie, but fail to explain the significance of
either. Also, how does he know that Liam Neeson is really innocent? Bagels,
yeah that’s right, bagels, and I’m pretty sure it can’t get more ridiculous
than that (unless you’re watching Taken 2).
I could go
into a lot more detail on how utterly ridiculous this movie is, but honestly I
don’t think it’s worth the time. Granted, it might be a bit better than Taken
2, however, that isn’t exactly glowing praise. It’s a real shame because the
original Taken was a solid action movie that shouldn’t have been developed into
sequels. Of course, Taken 3 is making good money at the moment, so I’m sure we
can all expect a Taken 4 coming soon worldwide in a couple of years, hey maybe
they’ll shake it up a bit and his grandson will get taken.
-Ryan Maples
Rating: 3
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